Out of control….

Iam spiraling and whirling out of control. I cant find the way out. My mind is suffering my thoughts are dark and gloomy. I want resolve and I want it now. I cant find the right things to say. My mind focuses on the bad energy and the pain and suffering of my little big one. I want him to be treated fairly and well. i dont want him suffering so. Im jacked up in my mind . Iam consumed by hate and pain. I want t find the man responsible for this pain and rip him apart with my bare hands. I dont like these thoughts but here they are. Ripping at me. Grinding my life to a hault. We are on stand by forever. waiting waiting waiting for how long? I wont know. Pain Pain Pain. Suffering each day goes by i ache, i hate, i feel. Worsening as we go day by day. No way to live. Everything is wrong. Each day is a pain to go thru. My stomach aches with each passing day its eating me alive. Stress filled hatred. My son has lost faith. Iam loosing faith in the medicine world. Why? WHY>? why the hell is this so hard?

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